Cipher Talks | Anita Skalar – A Survivor’s Guide to Coercion, Consent, and Recovery: 90 – Trigger to Violence: The Week Before the “Potato” Assault

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Thursday, July 17, 2025

Post 90 – Trigger to Violence: The Week Before the “Potato” Assault

Approximately one week before the violent “potato” assault, I caught Jeff masturbating to images of his ex-wife on my laptop.

At the time, our daughter Esther was alone and crying behind a baby gate, with the door chained shut.

This shocking event triggered a narcissistic collapse in Jeff, leading to the physical violence that followed.

Trigger Event: Discovery of Jeff’s secret sexual behavior with ex-wife’s images
Narcissistic Collapse: Emotional and psychological breakdown leading to rage
Escalation: Progression from emotional disturbance to physical violence
Cycle of Abuse: Classic pattern of trauma triggering assault

Understanding the triggers can help survivors anticipate and prepare for escalation.

Your safety and healing come first—seek help and support.

📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Chat: www.thehotline.org
24/7 | Confidential | Free