🎧 Healing Audio Library

Use these soundscapes for emotional regulation, nervous system grounding, and trauma integration. Click play and let your healing begin.

Calm Background Ambient

Gentle atmospheric background—ideal for grounding, journaling, or CPTSD self-regulation.

Healing Meditation

Perfect for deep breathing, inner child work, or background audio for reflection prompts.

Soft Ambient Loop

Looping soft piano tones that support focus and safety while reading or writing.

Peaceful Ambient Space

Floaty, space-inspired ambient track—great for disassociation recovery or body-awareness work.

Emotional Recovery Tones

Piano and synth combo that gently moves emotion—ideal for evening posts or heart-heavy moments.

🌀 All music is royalty-free via Pixabay Music.

Thursday, July 17, 2025

A Fetish for Destruction: The Attempt to Break My Body for Pleasure.

Post 36 – A Fetish for Destruction: The Attempt to Break My Body for Pleasure

Jeff’s obsession was never about intimacy. It was about control, degradation, and fear.

He pushed my body beyond pain, attempting to stretch and break me in ways I never consented to. The physical trauma was paired with verbal humiliation—phrases like “You love this, don’t you?” and “You’re made for it,” forced on me during moments I was too scared or dissociated to resist.

This was not kink. It was coercion. It was sexual abuse disguised as “play.” It was psychological warfare masked in the language of desire.

For over a year, I endured. The shame and fear trapped me in silence. The scars were both visible and invisible—on my body and my mind.


Tactics Breakdown – Coercion Masquerading as Consent

  • Forced Compliance: Used fear and trauma bonding to override true consent
  • Verbal Conditioning: Repeated degrading phrases to normalize abuse
  • Physical Violation: Caused injury and pain disguised as sexual exploration
  • Psychological Control: Leveraged dissociation and fear to maintain power
  • Identity Erosion: Diminished self-worth through ongoing humiliation

You Deserve Respect and Safety

If you’ve ever been forced into acts that didn’t feel safe or consensual, remember: that is abuse, not love.

You are worthy of kindness, boundaries, and respect. Your body is your own.


📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Chat: www.thehotline.org
24/7 | Confidential | Free

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