Post 33 – When Abuse Was a Family Affair
The abuse wasn’t just Jeff. It was his sisters, his mother, and the dynamic they created around him — one where accountability was optional and my voice was irrelevant.
After an argument, Jeff would disappear. He wouldn't answer my calls or texts. Instead, I’d find out through whispers, eye-rolls, or passive comments that he had spent the night with his family — where my side of the story never mattered. His mother and sisters would dissect our relationship like gossip fodder. And I wasn’t just excluded from the conversation — I was the target of it.
I wasn’t invited. I wasn’t defended. And I wasn’t safe.
Their home became his escape hatch. And their loyalty made my life smaller.
“Let’s Talk About Her” – But Never With Her
Imagine being emotionally dismantled by a committee that never hears from you. That’s what it felt like. Jeff would go to his mother or sisters, tell a curated version of events, and they would rally behind him. The result was a weaponized family unit that gaslit me without ever having to speak to me directly.
The decisions they made about me stuck — even when they were built on lies. Even when they harmed their own grandchildren in the process.
Tactics Breakdown – Family-Fueled Psychological Isolation
- Triangulation: Jeff used his family as emotional reinforcements, making me the outsider in my own relationship
- One-Sided Storytelling: They only ever heard Jeff’s version — and treated me based on that alone
- Emotional Enmeshment: His sisters and mother became his confidantes, placing their feelings above mine and the children’s
- Exclusion as Control: I was purposefully kept out of emotional decisions, reinforcing my invisibility and isolation
- Echo Chamber Abuse: His distortions became “truth” through repetition inside a closed family system
When Enablers Become Extensions of the Abuse
Abuse isn’t always a one-man act. Sometimes it’s a cast of characters. Sometimes, the most damaging harm comes not from the loudest voice, but from the silent agreement of others.
Jeff didn’t just gaslight me. His family gaslit me. And they did it by never letting me speak.
If you are being excluded, rewritten, or made to feel crazy — check the system, not just the source. Because it takes a network to uphold a narcissist’s lie. And it takes truth to burn it all down.
📞 National Domestic Violence Hotline
Call: 800-799-SAFE (7233)
Chat: www.thehotline.org
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